And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
