Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
organizing the empties. That sober.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
