do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
