Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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