look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
