in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
