They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
