She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
