Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
