I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
