Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
