Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
