quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
