the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
