Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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