before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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