For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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