There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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