# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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