Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
