please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
