I feel like abortions should bother me more
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
