Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
