I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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