gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i will never coherently bang her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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