I feel like I'm in dance class right now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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