at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
