Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
