life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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