Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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