this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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