does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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