He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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