would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
