Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
bring money and cleavage
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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