Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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