i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
