If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You just made me feel so damn special
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
