I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
