im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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