hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
