ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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