Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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