its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
