if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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