the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
zippers are such a cool invention
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
