everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
