my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
