When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
