I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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