dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
