suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
