I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
